I wrote a lot about my dad last week, remembering his life. This week, I am revisiting and updating a post from May 2018 called “Happy Day, Mothers”. I hope you find something useful.
As Mother’s Day was approaching in 2018, I wanted to write something to commemorate the occasion. I sat down several times for my “Happy Mother’s Day” post. However, I could not find the words to satisfy my desired message. As the day ended, I decided to wait for the right words.
Waiting to celebrate mothers, on a day other than Mother’s Day, ironically became the very essence of this expression of love and appreciation. The importance of a mother could never be contained to just one day. No matter your opinion of her, your mother shared her whole self with you for you to be in this exact moment. You are in THIS moment with this life of limitless opportunity because of an incredible duty that she fulfilled.
A Woman’s Place
No mother is perfect. Some mothers make it look easier than others, but being a mother is extremely hard. Being a good mother is even harder. As children, we can unknowingly, impose unrealistic expectations on our mothers. These expectations may be unrealistic because of issues such as lack of experience, knowledge, or financial and emotional support. But with compassion, forgiveness and unconditional respect, children can find themselves grow into healthier and more productive adults.
In general, “Society” it undervalues women. This has occurred throughout of human history. According to a recent study, women mayors are three times more likely to be physically attacked compared to mayors who are men. These women are elected city leaders on a stage for many to see; not the many women and girls living with abusive behaviors passed down from generation to generation and directly impacting the well-being of mothers (and potential mothers) everywhere.
With All Due Respect
Imagine a community – or humanity as an whole – where all children are taught to respect their mother, women and girls, for – at the very least – the [potential] gift of life. Since the Mother-Child relationship is our first relationship, imagine the lasting impact that this unconditional respect would have on ourselves and our relationships with others.
Whether you think fondly of your mother, or not, find the need to have respect for her because you will be doing yourself, your family, and your community a favor! Don’t get me wrong, respect does NOT mean accepting abuse. Boundaries are important for every relationship, even a parental relationship.
Happy Day, Mothers: A Not Mad. Motivated. Point of View
Mothers’ experiences help mold them into the person that we know (or never had the chance to know). But what we see of them is only a piece of their story. If your mother did a great job preparing you for this world and surrounded you with a helpful and supportive community, be grateful and motivated to return those lessons and energy to your own family and community.
If your mother exposed you to harm and fear, be grateful for surviving, learn from her shortcomings, and forgive her for not giving you what she probably never received. No mother is perfect but they all have lessons for us. Focusing on the lessons, and not the disappointments, is what the Not Mad. Motivated. mindset is all about. With that said, have a Happy Day, every day, Mothers!
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