Who else loves shopping for stationery supplies? Notebooks and filler paper? Pens and pencils? Post-it Notes and index cards? Some of the simple pleasures in life.
As a DV survivor and a Life Coach, I know how important it is to get your thoughts out. I also know how a good to-do list can motivate action and improve self-accountability.
With my appreciation for stationery and my desire to see women who have experienced domestic violence LIVE – and not just survive – after DV, I decided to launch a series of tools to assist. The first tool being our handmade notebook.
A Quick Behind the Scene
Check out this quick video showing how we make our Not Mad. Motivated. Handmade Notebook. We print our lines and covers, we punch the holes and bind it all together. [Please excuse my son’s music at the end of the video💜]
I recently finished a five-session, 1:1 writing to heal program with Writing Coach Shamina Williams of Life Lines Professional Services. First, if you have never taken some kind of writing class – for fun, to jump start your creativity, or to help in your healing – I highly recommend you give it a try. (I will write more about my experience in a future post.)
In one of our sessions, Coach Shamina challenged me to create a list of ten goals for me to work to achieve before the year is over. As a young student, writing my goals or my “to-do” lists was an important self-accountability tool. There was a sense of excitement and accomplishment in checking off each task!
However, sometime while adulting, I neglected the habit of making lists. There was a time when I experienced being ridiculed for “relying” on a list. Lists were spoken about as a character flaw or weakness. But the truth is, I was stronger with my lists. I was more focused and more driven. I was more . . . well. . . more me. Creating a list of goals is like having an accountability partner – especially if you share your list with other. So hold me accountable, y’all!!
10 Goals for the Rest 2022
My intention for the list below is to increase my overall happiness and to increase satisfaction with myself.
Improve my worship to The Creator
Pray on time
Memorize at least 5 Surahs
Lose 25 pounds
Increase physical activity
Reduce sugar intake
Spend more quality time with sons
Go new places together
Replace my social security card
Call SS office for requirements
Get a Passport for me and my sons
Confirm requirements and cost
Get new window treatments
Order windows treatments
Update my yard and deck
Schedule deck estimate
Contact HOA about rules
Schedule deck installation
Schedule yard estimation
Keep up the kitchen and living room with daily “reset”
Have and enforce a cleaning schedule
Organize additional space until completed
Create healthy night and morning routines
Be more productive at work
Organize my workspace
Set work goals/priorities for the day/week
Writing to Set Short-term Goals
There are many reasons to grab a notebook and get to writing. One reason is, that can be made into a very regular habit, to create goals and to-do lists. You can even set rewards for your goals by giving yourself small, yet meaningful gifts once one or a group of goals are accomplished.
Grab a notebook [get a Not Mad. Motivated. Notebook here – our handmade notebook will be available April 15, 2022], a pen or pencil, and write down goals you want to accomplish before the year is over. Focus on one to three during a period of time. As you accomplish one, cross it off your list and add another goal to focus on. If you haven’t crossed off all your goals at the end of the year, that’s okay. Celebrate what you do complete – that is the important part. Also, some goals may never be 100% completed, and instead they are constantly improved upon.
I started noticing my weight gain in 2015. That was a hard year. The year started with my youngest son being seriously injured. Three weeks after my son’s injury, my father was killed by an impaired driver. My sister and nephew came up from Texas and stayed for a few months. Once she left, the binging begun.
It was the very first time in my life that I was not living under adult supervision or with peers. I was the adult. And I was overindulging. In October of 2021, more than 9 years after my youngest son was born, my weight reached an eye-opening peak – 80 pounds heavier than my heaviest pregnancy weight.
Jumping In (and Out) Action
Days after that peak weigh-in, I began to participate in Fit Muslimah’s Ten Day Sugar Detox. Ten days, no added sugar… I thought it would be impossible for me. I did well and lost about 10 pounds.
The progress I made in the 10 day detox inspired me to join her Burn Belly Fat challenge. My participation was not perfect. After both programs (40 days total), I was down close to 30 pounds. Imagine my excitement. I decided to participate in the challenge again and completely disconnected from the support group and eventually the program after a couple of weeks into my second rounds.
Getting Real with Myself
Stop making excuses. You have discipline. You control yourself around food during Ramadan, with help from the Creator. You have stopped eating sugar and you physically felt better doing so. Your goal is much bigger than losing weight. Sure you want to look at yourself in the mirror and be happy with what you see – but that is a secondary reward of eating better. The true goal is to live.
You have 3 sons. One of your sons is non-verbal with special needs and he is only 10. You must preserve your life for them. Eat the food that will help – not harm – your body. Make your priorities a priority!
The instant “gratification” of a donut or cake is not the priority. Those donuts and cakes will compromise your physical ability and health, which will eventually compromise your ability to care for your boys. Plus, you are setting them up for complications of their own.
You want to eat better. You want them to eat better. You enjoy many healthy foods. The junk food often makes you feel disgusting. You got this. You’ve done it before and can do it again. Every day, every hour, is a chance to make better decisions. Let’s Go!
If it is safe for you, grab a notebook [get a Not Mad. Motivated. Notebook here], a pen or pencil, and tell yourself the truth (with love) about the excuses you are making for one of your negative habits. Remind yourself of your previous successes and build on those. Do you have regular “priorities” that you are not prioritizing? Remind yourself of why they are important. The real why, not the surface why.
Did you know that writing/journaling can be used as a therapeutic tool? Writing can help you process and understand your feelings. When you give yourself permission to reflect and feel, you give yourself the opportunity to heal!
This notebook was designed by a survivor of domestic violence because surviving is just the beginning. There is life after domestic violence – not just surviving. And writing is a great way to get back to living!
This eye catching design incorporates:
1) camouflage: since in times of danger, camouflage helps keep you hidden, increasing the chance of surviving
2) the color purple: for domestic violence awareness and the bravery needed to escape and start living again
3) the color green: for the needed growth, renewal of self, and peace
4) the color gold: for the earned success and wisdom and
5) a teacup: to relax and build healthy connections with self and others.
When you purchase this spiral notebook with ruled line paper, that is a perfect companion in everyday life, you help support a community of women who have experienced domestic violence.
.: 118 ruled line single pages .: Front cover print .: Black back cover
One Size: Width, in0.59 – Length, in5.98 – Height, in7.99
Join Our Facebook Group
If you are a woman who has experienced domestic violence and you are currently an entrepreneur (or future entrepreneurs), come join our Facebook group, The Other Side of Abuse. Let’s network and collaborate!!
As I researched groups for woman entrepreneurs who have experienced domestic violence, I came across Argrow’s House.
Argrow’s House offers free services for women in their community (Davenport, IA) healing from violence and abuse. Their services range from domestic violence support groups, yoga, spiritual direction, massage therapy, art therapy, and more.
What sets Argrow’s House apart from others? They started a bath and body business where women healing from abuse can create all natural bath and body products. This business helps provide a living wage for the women and in a safe space that celebrates who they are.
Argrow’s House was founded by Dr. Kit Evans-Ford, in honor of her grandmother. When I checked out Dr. Evan-Ford’s Facebook profile, I was surprised that 1) she is from about 30 minutes where I currently live and 2) she also owns Autistic & Loved – which is interesting to me because my youngest (currently 9 year old) son is non-verbal and autistic.
If you are looking for bath and body products for personal usage, gifts, or for wholesale, give Argrow’s House a try. I plan to💜
Join our Facebook Community
If you are a woman entrepreneur who has experienced domestic violence, we would love for you to join our new Facebook community, The Other Side of Abuse. Our goal is to build connections and make transformative relationships!
If you have experienced domestic violence but are not yet an entrepreneur, you are still welcome💜