Affirmations after escaping domestic violence abuse: I forgive myself for staying too long

Almost ten years, off and on, mostly on, in an abusive relationship. Within the first three months, I was looking for an out. Why did I stay so long?

I am not sure if I have an answer, but it felt like I had 100 reasons.

Sometimes, I mourn the years lost. Sometimes I wonder what life would look like today had I left earlier. But what good are these thoughts, other than to use as motivation for the future.

Release yourself from the guilt. Now is your time.

Whether you stayed one day or 25 years after realizing you were in an abusive relationship, don’t hold your healing hostage by not forgiving yourself.

Healing is a process.

Give yourself grace.

Blaming yourself for your abuse only keeps you in the state of abuse. Blaming yourself for your abuse will indirectly make you think that somehow you deserved abuse … but you didn’t deserve it.

Stop worrying about how long it took and be thankful that you lived to create a new and improved chapter of your life.

“I forgive myself for staying too long. I was not prepared for such a hardship and needed to gather and develop tools to be successful.“

“I am grateful to have a new chance at life. I have an opportunity to redefine myself. A have the tools that will keep me out of domestic violence abuse in the future, God Willing.”

Not Mad. Motivated. to Affirm the Voice of Women who have Experienced Domestic Violence Abuse

Last year, I decided to evaluate my passions after my son was given a Passion Project assignment for school. The assignment was meant to engage them in something they were interested in after in-person learning was abruptly cancelled.

In my evaluation, I determined that my passion is building connections. As a woman who has experienced domestic violence abuse, the first person to build a connect with is myself.

I decided I wanted to create affirmations cards for other women who have experienced domestic violence abuse. Often we are silenced in these relationships, and our voices are ignored after the relationship ends.

The featured image in the post is one of the cards. I would love your opinion.

Your feedback is appreciated🧡 If you don’t want to leave a comment on the page, please use the contact form.

Affirmations after Escaping Domestic Violence Abuse: My compassion will not be used against me.

Being compassionate is not a weakness. We are supposed to have compassion for one another. The problem is the people who take advantage of our compassion. An abuser loves a compassionate victim. An abuser wants us to care so much about them that we neglect ourselves.

I have this rule about loaning money: I don’t loan money that I am going to need back. This rule protects me from financial hardship if something comes up and the loan can’t be repaid on time. It also protects the relationship with the borrower.

I am working on a similar rule for compassion: I don’t give compassion to others that compromises the compassion I need to have for myself.

We must care for ourselves first. If we allow our compassion to be used against us, we may find ourselves right back in the situation we Prayed to get of in the first place… and most likely a worst situation to make sure we think two, three, four times before we try to end it next time.

Being compassionate is a wonderful Blessing but know that everyone one doesn’t deserve it in a direct way. Sometimes you have to limit your compassion to saying a Prayer for them – from a distance. Prayer is a powerful tool, and if you are Praying for the wellness for your abuser, you have done more than enough. Give yourself compassion first.

Not Mad. Motivated. to Affirm the Voice of Women who have Experienced Domestic Violence Abuse

Last year, I decided to evaluate my passions after my son was given a Passion Project assignment for school. The assignment was meant to engage them in something they were interested in after in-person learning was abruptly cancelled.

In my evaluation, I determined that my passion is building connections. As a woman who has experienced domestic violence abuse, the first person to build a connect with is myself.

I decided I wanted to create affirmations cards for other women who have experienced domestic violence abuse. Often we are silenced in these relationships, and our voices are ignored after the relationship ends.

The featured image in the post is one of the cards. I would love your opinion.

Is the design too busy?

Would you change the colors?

Would you like a solid background instead?

Your feedback is appreciated🧡 If you don’t want to leave a comment on the page, please use the contact form.

“Not Mad. Motivated.” to Find Solutions

Life presents obstacles . . . daily. It is sometimes the smallest, most mundane difficulty which seems to multiple any other hardships you are experiencing. You know what I mean, right? You are juggling the ‘world’ while cooking dinner and making sure the kids are participating in virtual learning and then . . . you spill a cup a milk. The reality is that we sometimes cry over the [tip-of the-iceberg] ‘spilled milk’. After that “cry”, it’s time for a “Not Mad. Motivated. to find solutions” mindset.

This year, most of us have found ourselves at home more then usual. With schools closing in March and virtual school this fall, my youngest son has much more time and opportunity to get into things. He is quick and quiet when he wants to be. And he has proven that toothbrushes, toothpaste, and shampoo are not safe around him. Regardless of his special needs, I must teach him how to interact with household items. However, until that lesson is learned, solutions were needed to relieve some unnecessary stress.

More time home? More time for small hands to be busy!

1. Wall Mounted Adhesive Toothbrush Organizer Stand

Many toothbrushes – and a few tubes of toothpaste – have gone missing over the past few months. Some have been recovered, often behind beds and mostly in a bare state (without bristles). After buying yet another pack of toothbrushes, I decided to look into a solution to keep these valuable grooming tools safe.

I decided to give a wall mounted toothbrush organizer a try. The system should be sufficient for two people – I purchased one for each bathroom. It is easy to assemble and to secured with the included adhesive strip. After a month, there is been no issues with it moving or shifting, and no toothbrushes have gone missing. A win so far!

2. Door Monkey Door Lock & Pinch Guard

We recently had a room change in my house. My youngest son moved out of a room that was his for most of his eight year. I expected that he would continue to go to this room and treat it as his own, even though his brother’s belongings would now be in there.

I thought about adding a chain lock to the outside of the interior doors; although I did not like this idea. I was ecstatic to find a temporary solution that did not require drilling, plus every one who is suppose to open the doors could easily do so. It keeps the door slightly open, but can be pulled off with no problem when complete privacy is needed. However, it only works if it is on the door, so remembering to return it is important to our success!

3. Rustproof Suction Basket

Have you ever spent a little extra money for a good bottle of shampoo or conditioner – and then see it going down the drain? I had my new bottles of hair care items in the reach of my son while he was in the bathroom. What a mistake! I went to the next room, briefly, and I returned to see his bath water full of my investment. When I replaced my shampoo and conditioner, I also picked up an handy basket to keep items higher .

The suction on this basket has been 100 percent reliable so far. My son has not paid too much attention to it yet. If he started pulling at it, I will really see what it is made of. However, for now, it is serving it’s purpose – eliminating a small bit of unnecessary stress from my day!

Bonus Solution: A “It’s-Right-Here” Fanny Pack

I recently purchased a fanny pack in hopes that it would help me keep up with medicine, and small items that I may need at anytime. Here are some items I keep in my “It’s-Right-Here” fanny pack:

  • Nose Spray
  • Nail Kit (clippers, emery board, nail file. . .)
  • Box Cutter (for opening and breaking down boxes)
  • Eye glass screwdriver (mainly for tightening small screws)
  • Assortment of writing utensils (pen, pencil, Sharpie, Expo marker)

What would you keep in yours?

Not Mad. Motivated. to Find Solutions

Sometime, the smaller obstacles in our daily lives can feel tremendous when they are placed among other taxing problems. Look for solutions that can help ease those smaller obstacles. You will not only relieve a little stress but you could also build up confident and motivation to conquer bigger tasks! Your ability to problem-solve is infinite. Get creativity and find what works for you! And remember, do Not get Mad. Get Motivated. to find solutions!

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