Grow with the Flow

We’re not where we want to be.

Here’s the question though…

Are we taking steps to get there…

Or are we too busy putting ourselves down to move forward?

Here’s another question…

Will we ever be exactly where we want to be in life?

I hope not.

As we reach goals, our aspirations should change and increase.

We should always want more and better for ourselves.

Even if we have all the money that we can ever need, goals to positively impact our family and communities should get bigger.

Change and growth is normal, so be okay with growing into yourself!

Be okay with never being exactly where and who you want to be.

Be okay with a lifetime commitment to moving in the right direction – even if that means taking a rest or a side step.

Acknowledge where you have come from.

And give your permission to grow into yourself.

Feeling Stuck with Achieving or Setting Goals?

If you are a woman and are feeling stuck, I invite you to schedule a free brainstorming sessions with Life Coach Margaret. Schedule your call now.

Not ready to chat? Grab a notebook and write. We have two notebooks you can purchase to get those thought out of your head. Get out large handmade notebook or our smaller spiral notebook today.

Grow with the Flow

I am Grateful :: Reframing Hardship

I am grateful for being patience and compassionate.

I have a son with autism. There are many challenges that come with being a caregiver for a child with disabilities, but I am grateful to be wise enough to know that he is a Blessing to me.

God is The Exceedingly Merciful (Ar-Rahim) and being a caregiver for my son is a mercy.

God is The Provider (Ar-Razzaq) and I have been provided an endless opportunities of good deeds as a caregiver.

I believe that caring for a child with a disability is test. If I continue to approach this test with faith, kindness, patience, and compassion, I may be earning my key to Paradise.

Can reframing your hardship make you more grateful?

What Hardship Can You Reframe?

Is there any hardship that you are or have experienced that you have or can reframe to be a Blessing? Grab a notebook and explore this idea. Share in the comments, if you are comfortable doing so.

I am Grateful :: Reframing Hardship

Don’t Forget to Enjoy Life – A Note To Self

Sal’s Branch Trail at Umstead State Park in Raleigh, NC

You cannot buy your children’s happiness.

The nice clothes…

The new shoes…

The video games…

These things are not what the best memories are made off.

The best memories come from the walks in the park, the late night talks and the silly faces.

The best memories come from cooking together, late night drives to no where, and feeling valued.

Your children don’t care about your job. They don’t care about how much money you make. They care about you attentively listening when they speak.

Friday night movie night… exploring new and old favorite places… a small investment for a joyful return.

Go Outside and Play!

Your job is important but not more important than your family (or your health). Close your laptop, put away your phone, and go outside!

Go for a walk around the neighborhood or a local park! Grab the basketball and play a game of HORSE! Get out in the yard and finally trim those trees.

Get out and enjoy life. You deserve it!

Reflecting on a Good Day

Too often we get stuck on “the bad”. Let’s make an habit of sitting and reflecting on the good.

Grab a notebook [get a Not Mad. Motivated. Notebook here – our handmade notebook will be available April 15, 2022], a pen or pencil, and write about a good experience that you had today. Did you learn anything from that experience? What can you commit to doing to make sure that you are not leaving joy “on the table”?

Don’t Forget to Enjoy Life – A Note To Self

What Can I Do Before the End of 2022?

I recently finished a five-session, 1:1 writing to heal program with Writing Coach Shamina Williams of Life Lines Professional Services. First, if you have never taken some kind of writing class – for fun, to jump start your creativity, or to help in your healing – I highly recommend you give it a try. (I will write more about my experience in a future post.)

In one of our sessions, Coach Shamina challenged me to create a list of ten goals for me to work to achieve before the year is over. As a young student, writing my goals or my “to-do” lists was an important self-accountability tool. There was a sense of excitement and accomplishment in checking off each task!

How do you reward yourself for achieving goals you have set for yourself?

However, sometime while adulting, I neglected the habit of making lists. There was a time when I experienced being ridiculed for “relying” on a list. Lists were spoken about as a character flaw or weakness. But the truth is, I was stronger with my lists. I was more focused and more driven. I was more . . . well. . . more me. Creating a list of goals is like having an accountability partner – especially if you share your list with other. So hold me accountable, y’all!!

10 Goals for the Rest 2022

My intention for the list below is to increase my overall happiness and to increase satisfaction with myself.

  1. Improve my worship to The Creator
    1. Pray on time
    2. Read/learn more
    3. Memorize at least 5 Surahs
  2. Lose 25 pounds
    1. Increase physical activity
    2. Reduce sugar intake
  3. Spend more quality time with sons
    1. Movie night
    2. Go new places together
    3. Cook together
    4. Learn together
  4. Replace my social security card
    1. Call SS office for requirements
  5. Get a Passport for me and my sons
    1. Confirm requirements and cost
  6. Get new window treatments
    1. Measure windows
    2. Order windows treatments
    3. Schedule installation
  7. Update my yard and deck
    1. Schedule deck estimate
    2. Contact HOA about rules
    3. Schedule deck installation
    4. Schedule yard estimation
  8. Finish organizing
    1. Keep up the kitchen and living room with daily “reset”
    2. Have and enforce a cleaning schedule
    3. Organize additional space until completed
  9. Create healthy night and morning routines
  10. Be more productive at work
    1. Organize my workspace
    2. Set work goals/priorities for the day/week
What are your short-term goals? Take a screen shot and post this picture with one or two of your goals added. Tag me @notmadmotivated or with #notmadmotivated.

Writing to Set Short-term Goals

There are many reasons to grab a notebook and get to writing. One reason is, that can be made into a very regular habit, to create goals and to-do lists. You can even set rewards for your goals by giving yourself small, yet meaningful gifts once one or a group of goals are accomplished.

Grab a notebook [get a Not Mad. Motivated. Notebook here – our handmade notebook will be available April 15, 2022], a pen or pencil, and write down goals you want to accomplish before the year is over. Focus on one to three during a period of time. As you accomplish one, cross it off your list and add another goal to focus on. If you haven’t crossed off all your goals at the end of the year, that’s okay. Celebrate what you do complete – that is the important part. Also, some goals may never be 100% completed, and instead they are constantly improved upon.

What Can I Do Before the End of 2022?

Make Your Priorities A Priority

I started noticing my weight gain in 2015. That was a hard year. The year started with my youngest son being seriously injured. Three weeks after my son’s injury, my father was killed by an impaired driver. My sister and nephew came up from Texas and stayed for a few months. Once she left, the binging begun.

It was the very first time in my life that I was not living under adult supervision or with peers. I was the adult. And I was overindulging. In October of 2021, more than 9 years after my youngest son was born, my weight reached an eye-opening peak – 80 pounds heavier than my heaviest pregnancy weight.

Jumping In (and Out) Action

Days after that peak weigh-in, I began to participate in Fit Muslimah’s Ten Day Sugar Detox. Ten days, no added sugar… I thought it would be impossible for me. I did well and lost about 10 pounds.

Salads are super versatile and helps make healthy eating not so boring.

The progress I made in the 10 day detox inspired me to join her Burn Belly Fat challenge. My participation was not perfect. After both programs (40 days total), I was down close to 30 pounds. Imagine my excitement. I decided to participate in the challenge again and completely disconnected from the support group and eventually the program after a couple of weeks into my second rounds.

Getting Real with Myself

Stop making excuses. You have discipline. You control yourself around food during Ramadan, with help from the Creator. You have stopped eating sugar and you physically felt better doing so. Your goal is much bigger than losing weight. Sure you want to look at yourself in the mirror and be happy with what you see – but that is a secondary reward of eating better. The true goal is to live.

You have 3 sons. One of your sons is non-verbal with special needs and he is only 10. You must preserve your life for them. Eat the food that will help – not harm – your body. Make your priorities a priority!

It’s not enough to know your priorities, you actually need to make them a priority.

The instant “gratification” of a donut or cake is not the priority. Those donuts and cakes will compromise your physical ability and health, which will eventually compromise your ability to care for your boys. Plus, you are setting them up for complications of their own.

You want to eat better. You want them to eat better. You enjoy many healthy foods. The junk food often makes you feel disgusting. You got this. You’ve done it before and can do it again. Every day, every hour, is a chance to make better decisions. Let’s Go!

Talk to yourself. Affirm your beauty and all things positive. But also tell yourself to do better when you know you can.

If it is safe for you, grab a notebook [get a Not Mad. Motivated. Notebook here], a pen or pencil, and tell yourself the truth (with love) about the excuses you are making for one of your negative habits. Remind yourself of your previous successes and build on those. Do you have regular “priorities” that you are not prioritizing? Remind yourself of why they are important. The real why, not the surface why.

Make Your Priorities A Priority