I am Grateful :: Reframing Hardship

I am grateful for being patience and compassionate.

I have a son with autism. There are many challenges that come with being a caregiver for a child with disabilities, but I am grateful to be wise enough to know that he is a Blessing to me.

God is The Exceedingly Merciful (Ar-Rahim) and being a caregiver for my son is a mercy.

God is The Provider (Ar-Razzaq) and I have been provided an endless opportunities of good deeds as a caregiver.

I believe that caring for a child with a disability is test. If I continue to approach this test with faith, kindness, patience, and compassion, I may be earning my key to Paradise.

Can reframing your hardship make you more grateful?

What Hardship Can You Reframe?

Is there any hardship that you are or have experienced that you have or can reframe to be a Blessing? Grab a notebook and explore this idea. Share in the comments, if you are comfortable doing so.

I am Grateful :: Reframing Hardship

Let’s Make a Notebook!

Who else loves shopping for stationery supplies? Notebooks and filler paper? Pens and pencils? Post-it Notes and index cards? Some of the simple pleasures in life.

As a DV survivor and a Life Coach, I know how important it is to get your thoughts out. I also know how a good to-do list can motivate action and improve self-accountability.

With my appreciation for stationery and my desire to see women who have experienced domestic violence LIVE – and not just survive – after DV, I decided to launch a series of tools to assist. The first tool being our handmade notebook.

A Quick Behind the Scene

Check out this quick video showing how we make our Not Mad. Motivated. Handmade Notebook. We print our lines and covers, we punch the holes and bind it all together. [Please excuse my son’s music at the end of the video💜]

What should we do next? Leave a comment below.

Let’s Make a Notebook!

What Can I Do Before the End of 2022?

I recently finished a five-session, 1:1 writing to heal program with Writing Coach Shamina Williams of Life Lines Professional Services. First, if you have never taken some kind of writing class – for fun, to jump start your creativity, or to help in your healing – I highly recommend you give it a try. (I will write more about my experience in a future post.)

In one of our sessions, Coach Shamina challenged me to create a list of ten goals for me to work to achieve before the year is over. As a young student, writing my goals or my “to-do” lists was an important self-accountability tool. There was a sense of excitement and accomplishment in checking off each task!

How do you reward yourself for achieving goals you have set for yourself?

However, sometime while adulting, I neglected the habit of making lists. There was a time when I experienced being ridiculed for “relying” on a list. Lists were spoken about as a character flaw or weakness. But the truth is, I was stronger with my lists. I was more focused and more driven. I was more . . . well. . . more me. Creating a list of goals is like having an accountability partner – especially if you share your list with other. So hold me accountable, y’all!!

10 Goals for the Rest 2022

My intention for the list below is to increase my overall happiness and to increase satisfaction with myself.

  1. Improve my worship to The Creator
    1. Pray on time
    2. Read/learn more
    3. Memorize at least 5 Surahs
  2. Lose 25 pounds
    1. Increase physical activity
    2. Reduce sugar intake
  3. Spend more quality time with sons
    1. Movie night
    2. Go new places together
    3. Cook together
    4. Learn together
  4. Replace my social security card
    1. Call SS office for requirements
  5. Get a Passport for me and my sons
    1. Confirm requirements and cost
  6. Get new window treatments
    1. Measure windows
    2. Order windows treatments
    3. Schedule installation
  7. Update my yard and deck
    1. Schedule deck estimate
    2. Contact HOA about rules
    3. Schedule deck installation
    4. Schedule yard estimation
  8. Finish organizing
    1. Keep up the kitchen and living room with daily “reset”
    2. Have and enforce a cleaning schedule
    3. Organize additional space until completed
  9. Create healthy night and morning routines
  10. Be more productive at work
    1. Organize my workspace
    2. Set work goals/priorities for the day/week
What are your short-term goals? Take a screen shot and post this picture with one or two of your goals added. Tag me @notmadmotivated or with #notmadmotivated.

Writing to Set Short-term Goals

There are many reasons to grab a notebook and get to writing. One reason is, that can be made into a very regular habit, to create goals and to-do lists. You can even set rewards for your goals by giving yourself small, yet meaningful gifts once one or a group of goals are accomplished.

Grab a notebook [get a Not Mad. Motivated. Notebook here – our handmade notebook will be available April 15, 2022], a pen or pencil, and write down goals you want to accomplish before the year is over. Focus on one to three during a period of time. As you accomplish one, cross it off your list and add another goal to focus on. If you haven’t crossed off all your goals at the end of the year, that’s okay. Celebrate what you do complete – that is the important part. Also, some goals may never be 100% completed, and instead they are constantly improved upon.

What Can I Do Before the End of 2022?

Black – Muslim – Woman

I Am Black.

My ancestors were captured and enslaved. They were ridiculed and abused. They were falsely accused and lynched. They were treated inhumanely and many of them planted seeds of their trauma into the generations which followed.

I am a firm believer that impact of slavery, and the systematic racism that followed, continues to negatively affect the descendants of the enslaved. I cry when I hear, read, or see accounts of some of the horrors of Being Black. I cry to know that not even babies were immune from despicable treatment.

As much as my heart aches for the past and present oppression of the Black community, I can also realize the privilege within my own Black experiences.

This wheel, from the North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCCADV) advocate training, describes how certain identities hold power over others in society today.

It is my privilege that my grandparents – and many of their siblings – had the resources to relocate from South Carolina to Pennsylvania prior to my mother being born. It is my privilege that my mother had a support systems of aunts and uncles – even if it was just a visit to get out of the house. It is my privilege to have a childhood that was never void of love.

Growing up being able to recognize and experience LOVE as a child should not be a privilege. However, if you speak to enough people, you will find that knowing love and feeling loved is not always guaranteed. One of my most significant privilege is knowing love. Another is having faith.

I Am Muslim

I grew up Christian and attending a Baptist church. We weren’t the go the church everyday type of family, but we went most Sunday, some Saturdays for the youth programs, and some days for chorus rehearsal. For me, my favorite part about church was the music (and how we sometimes ate together afterwards).

When I was pretty young, my grandfather asked me what I learned in church after returning home one Sunday. I had no idea – if it wasn’t music, I didn’t really care. The question followed me for a long time.

Regardless of what I thought about church, I felt that my Faith was strong. There was something about my family that taught me to have Faith. When it came to religion, I remember thinking, “What I Believe doesn’t change the Truth!”

In my hardship with domestic violence, I started learning about Islam. I was open-minded, raised with love, and fell in love with Islam. It took me many, many years to practice, but now it is obvious to most people who see me that I am Muslim.

Many Muslim woman wear head coverings, such as hijabs. Hijabs make Muslims women “easy” targets of hate related behavior toward them.

Being Muslim is another part of my identity that many people have been taught to hate. It is a too common practice for Muslims across the world to be killed, tortured, falsely imprisoned, or forced to live in deplorable conditions.

And just like Black people were made the “enemy” in America, Muslims have become a “worldwide enemy”. When people are convinced the “enemy” is being destroyed, it’s easier to accept the mistreatment. I have cried many tears of sorrow in regard to oppression of the Muslim Community. I have also found privilege.

It is a privilege to have a non Muslim family that didn’t blink an eye about me accepting Islam. Some reverts to Islam are never accepted by their biological family. Some families are so consumed by the hate that has been instilled in them that they choose hate over family. But I had a foundation of love and that makes all the difference .

It is a privilege to be fulfilled by my religion – there is always more to learn and to be comforted by. It is a privilege that my religion shows that there are so many ways to worship God and to be pleasing to Him. It is a privilege to worship a Forgiving God. It is a privilege to be inspired to be better, to do better. My Faith is my most needed privilege.

I Am A Black, Muslim Woman

When I step out my door and into any room, being a Black, Muslim Woman is very evident. Of all things I identify as, these three are front and center. As many difficulties and hardships that each identity can present, the love, strength and beauty of them all is to what I hold on. When I explore my identity, it is easier to see the love, strength, and beauty that resides in me.

How can writing to explore identity benefit you?

If it is safe for you, grab a notebook [get a Not Mad. Motivated. Notebook here], a pen or pencil, and explore the aspect of your identity that most impact you. How can you be empowered how you identify? Check out the identity wheel above, or find one online. Can you find “privilege” in identities that have been historically oppressed? Share what you would like in the comments, tag us on Facebook or Instagram with #NotMadMotivatedLife, or email us your comments or feelings about exploring identity.

Black – Muslim – Woman

New Product Alert: NMM Notes – Spiral Notebook

A little writing goes a long way….

Did you know that writing/journaling can be used as a therapeutic tool? Writing can help you process and understand your feelings. When you give yourself permission to reflect and feel, you give yourself the opportunity to heal!

This notebook was designed by a survivor of domestic violence because surviving is just the beginning. There is life after domestic violence – not just surviving. And writing is a great way to get back to living!

This eye catching design incorporates:

1) camouflage: since in times of danger, camouflage helps keep you hidden, increasing the chance of surviving

2) the color purple: for domestic violence awareness and the bravery needed to escape and start living again 

3) the color green: for the needed growth, renewal of self, and peace

4) the color gold: for the earned success and wisdom and

5) a teacup: to relax and build healthy connections with self and others.  

When you purchase this spiral notebook with ruled line paper, that is a perfect companion in everyday life, you help support a community of women who have experienced domestic violence.

.: 118 ruled line single pages
.: Front cover print
.: Black back cover

One Size: Width, in0.59 – Length, in5.98 – Height, in7.99

Join Our Facebook Group

If you are a woman who has experienced domestic violence and you are currently an entrepreneur (or future entrepreneurs), come join our Facebook group, The Other Side of Abuse. Let’s network and collaborate!!

New Product Alert: NMM Notes – Spiral Notebook